What is Domestic Abuse?

Domestic Abuse Can Take Many Forms

We define domestic abuse as an incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive, threatening, degrading and violent behaviour, including sexual violence, in the majority of cases by a partner or ex-partner, but also by a family member or carer.

Physical abuse: Hitting, slapping, pushing, or other physical violence.

Emotional abuse: Insulting, belittling, criticizing, or manipulating your feelings.

Financial abuse: Controlling money, preventing access to finances, or limiting independence.

Sexual abuse: Coercing or forcing you into unwanted sexual activities.

Psychological abuse: Threats, intimidation, or isolating you from friends and family.

Are You Being Abused?

If any of these behaviours sound familiar, you might be experiencing domestic abuse:

They isolate you – They stop you from seeing family and friends or make you feel pressured not to.

They criticise you – Putting you down, embarrassing you publicly or privately, so you feel bad about yourself.

They blow hot and cold – One minute charming, the next abusive, so you’re never quite sure where you stand.

They are violent or threaten violence – Harming you physically or threatening to do so, including hurting others or your pets.

They are jealous and possessive – Not liking you giving attention to others, whether it’s friends, family, or even your children.

They play mind games – Making you question yourself or your decisions; sometimes called ‘gaslighting.’ (There’s a short video below explaining this more.)

They pressure you to have sex – Forcing or making you feel you must go along to keep the peace or to avoid feeling inadequate.

They monitor you – Checking your whereabouts, reading your texts and emails, listening to your calls.

They use anger or intimidation – Scaring you into doing what they want, making you walk on eggshells.

They control the money – Limiting your access, manipulating finances, or racking up debt in your name.

They control your choices – Telling you what to wear, where to go, who to see, or even what to think.

They damage your property – Breaking your phone, slashing tyres, or hitting walls to frighten you.

They blame you – Saying things like, “It’s your fault,” or “If you didn’t…” to make you feel responsible.

They follow you – Bombarding you with calls and texts or refusing to leave, so you have no space.

Is it Your Fault?

Domestic abuse is never your fault.

If any of this sounds familiar, help and support are available. You don’t have to face it alone.